Stupid Criminals 14 July 2013

There is nothing.. but nothing.. better that a stupid criminal to make you feel better about some of the decisions you've made in your life. Particularly that decision.. oh you know.. not to be stupid criminal.

Take these guys for example.

Beauty in the eye of the beholder..

A man in England called for a prostitute and then later rang the local constabulary (police) to complain about false advertising. Apparently, in the advert she said that she was attractive. He disagreed and felt so aggrieved that he needed to report it.

The police actually left him with just a warning that soliciting a hooker was illegal. What can we make of that? Perhaps they concurred that she really was unattractive, and so they cut him some slack? 

(source: nypost.com)

Who wants the drumstick?

In Nanning, China, police seized 'substandard' meat from a Vietnamese smuggling group that included chicken feet that was 46 years past the sell by date. Yummy! Now.. don't forget that this is the country (China) that enjoys a nice 100 year old egg (though in fairness, these eggs are usually only preserved for 100 days.. so that's much better). And in Vietnam, Philippines and Cambodia, another delicacy is Balut eggs. This is where a fertilized duck egg is left till about 17 days.. so the chick is just about fully formed.. and then.. it gets cooked and eaten. Delightful.

Bahut egg.

So I guess the Chinese police have to draw a line somewhere.. and it turns out '46 years' is it.

(souce onswipe.upi.com)

"Holy self locking doors Batman.."

In Colorado, USA the police are keeping the streets clean from crime-fighters gone bad. Three kids broke into the building at the state fair. They were caught on video, which then got aired on local TV. One of the boys was dressed as batman, and later turned himself in. I hope they took his utility belt off him, or he'll just escape again.

The other two boys are still on the run. I suggest you look in the sewers. Bad guys spend allot of time in the sewers. These kids weren't very bright and even managed to lock themselves in the building, and had to break out. I've locked myself out before.. but I've never locked myself in – now that's impressive.

So the police got one of the crooks.. but I see a problem. Haven't they seen any of the movies? Every one keeps setting up Batman.. they should let him go and look for some teen version of The Joker, or Penguin or Riddler. Or perhaps just someone wearing a black and white striped shirt, wearing a eye mask and holding a bag that says 'loot'.

The next generation of bank robber..

Not the bank robber.. fortunately..

In Michigan, USA the police have arrested a 12 year old boy (12!) who rode his bike to the nearest Detroit bank early on Friday morning, broke in, and was caught stealing things when the police arrived.

Apparently, he just smashed through the glass doors, and started helping himself. I have to question how good a bank is when a 12 year old boy can break in so easily. Fortunately, even if the police hadn't got there in time, he wouldn't have been able to carry away much on his bike. Or would he?